what if straight men refused to work on their "masculine profile," or their "hetero resume" despite our entertainment industry's wishes?
would it prompt us to watch Lifetime "television for women (trademark [brought to you by the well meaning people of hallmark and kotex]), buy cars in cute colorful palates, wear light cover up, watch movies involving weddings and girls' night out. oh, you know, self empowerment, coming of age, early pregnancy, late pregnancy, learning to cope, learning to forget, feeling young, feeling your age...it goes on.
lets look at what men are watching...the main feature of most movies (i think mainstream isn't a category anymore) is the promised well lit striptease that one or more of the actresses will perform (even "progressive" movies like american beauty have two young actresses literally stripping [read: i surrender] and finally the man gets over himself, comforted by his muscle car, his new athletic body, and his suburban home. and we're back in patriarchal conservative america. phew). the back cover of the movie probably has a still of foreplay, or the promise of nudity--the thing SAYS: adult content. strong sexuality. sexual situation. not suitable for children. patriarchy isn't sold or suggested or even up for discussion. its programmed-in with coded firewalls. like soviet russia or any other part of "western civilization," the people running it are speaking only of benign intention, inclusion not exclusion, and of course driving out the demons that will eradicate us all from civilization. weinstein, bruckheimer, spielberg, and their ilk don't know how to make a distinction between uber-macho-shoot-em-ups, the most badass-heroine-revenge-shoot-em-ups, a biopic, and the proverbial date movie...don't worry guys, the stripshow's coming. play your positions lads and ladies, you know your position by age 12 (and if you aren't attracted to the opposite sex, then stand aside, be a quirky friend, a shopping companion, or a fellow socialite), so, look hot, strip, lick your lips cuz we'll rescue you right in the nick of time. every time.
no, were not afraid to shave our legs, dress in drag at parties, exhibit feminine traits and be completely in love with our male AND female friends. as a man, i feel patriarchy like my ear itch. all of the time. its completely interwoven and inescapable. i occasionally choose to participate. i nod, stay silent. when liberal professors tell me to "get yourself one of those and you'll be happy," pointing to my female classmates i sneer "think so?" dennis kucinich claiming his healthy lifestyle affords him a girlfriend half his age. well intentioned people advise me to treat people like wild horses: "well, of course their gonna run. y'gotta be clever, chase em, surprise em, and then break em." to which i say, "yeah, sure, they're running cuz they don't wanna be repressed, saddled and broken. maybe they just wanna graze and not sweat me while i eat my own lunch, happily admiring their freedom."
its been my experience that when men talk about women, they talk about women they like, are interested in or love. misogyny is usually served to audiences en masse. take say harold and kumar go to white castle, theres just enough shitty humor to keep it moving along, but mostly it doesn't ask or answer the question that its pretending to be addressing: why are we marginalized? having seen the movie enough times it seems to say: because you aren't a brazen self interested asshole! can't beat em? join em!
brilliant...
i cringe at most popular culture. i want it to be better. most movies aimed at the youth culture are cynical, address no viable issues and plunge towards a lowest common denominator. movies revolving around "serious" professionals and their relationships are probably worse. they sell the same if not more lifestyle accessories than their youthful and glossy counterparts. they end where they should begin: "i hope to be happy with her/him for a very long time. well, for at least a little while. hell, i don't really know!" and unfortunately, i cannot relate with movie characters in the top 10 percentile income bracket, blowing money all over town, taking 3 hour lunches to be seen somewhere super chic. affording no time to work.
sorry. whether its a man about to marry, with his band of nay-saying friends trying to steer him off course. or, a woman about to marry and her supportive and hard-nosed friends super excited for mostly self serving reasons. in both cases the main character's object of affection (fiance or fiancee) quickly becomes a means to an end. social anxiety acquiesces. job stress disappears. annoying friends don't come around anymore. and a warm body awaits in your posterpedic love cradle.
drippin with cynicism? sure, alright you got me there...great entertainment can be had from celluloid on the cheap. great movies are peppered all over your local shop or cinema. not all movies make men wanna rev their V10, or normalize shitty social relations. but lets face it: most do. and captains of industry like it that way.